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Thank you for stopping by as always, my goal is to empower and transform your life. April is Sexual Abuse Awareness Month as my goal is to raise awareness and help you heal. After experiencing sexual abuse, incest, being betrayed and deceived; trusting someone, primarily a male was tough for me. For many years, I kept a shield around me to protect myself. I was so afraid of being hurt that I never allowed anyone to get close. Sometimes, I subconsciously pushed people away because in my mind they were going to hurt or leave me. I was my own worst nightmare and definitely in my way. Today, I no longer have a problem trusting or opening my heart. In life, someone will always hurt us, however, that pain isn’t meant to be our demise, it is to strengthen and teach us. The ultimate goal is to forgive those who caused you pain and following, trusting is easy.

Sexual abuse is such a horrible act as a child your innocence is stolen. The world is no longer perceived as one would see it without the experience of sexual abuse. It can take years to define yourself as well as trust yourself. Trusting others is not the only mission to be accomplished after abuse, trusting self also needs to be achieved. As a victim of sexual abuse, you were either blamed, shamed and made to believe it’s your fault. Or you never told anyone, as you had no idea you experienced abuse. When this happens, your confidence is stolen and developing your identity is interrupted. That leads to low self-esteem, indecisiveness, lack of self-trust and trust for others. You may ask yourself how?

How can you begin to trust yourself if your first encounter with another person was a betrayal? Being blamed, makes you doubt yourself. What’s more, child abuse doesn’t last forever, and with that said, it ends. After the abuse stops, children feel like they did something wrong. That feeling of “doing something wrong” made you believe you made the wrong decision. But, in reality, children cannot and are not capable of making a sound decision to have sex. However, your abuser programmed you to believe it was your fault and since you were a child, manipulation and brainwashing were easy. The most important factor leading to trust others is to forgive. Forgiveness releases the pain, anger, and shame and with that, you regain your power. Once you regain your strength, the world no longer seems unsafe. It appears to be precisely what it is, a place where everyone makes mistakes whether by intent or not. Now you can open yourself up and not worry about being hurt because you are equipped with the power to move forward.

Trust is a very significant factor in a relationship, and I refuse to allow my past deceptions and abuse placed upon me to be the reason I can’t have a successful relationship. You should not either. Besides having a successful relationship, when we don’t trust we block blessings. Being afraid to let others in is a definite way to isolate yourself and that only leads to more misery. I encourage you to pray and or meditate and ask God to give you faith, trust, and understanding of what love is. As long as we live, someone will hurt us again, however, don’t be afraid of pain; embrace it as your key to the next level of strength. In essence, if you have been betrayed and have trust issues, I ask you to walk and live by faith. We cannot concern ourselves with the motives of others, nor can we live in fear. The only actions you can control are yours. So start trusting, have faith and spare yourself some unnecessary mental anguish.

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Thank you for reading, and please leave your comments below.

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 Did you know there is a difference between Gender and Sex. You probably didn’t as most people don’t. Well, allow me to educate you. 

Most people believe gender is the same as sex and I was one of those people until recently.  Gender is naturally assumed as understood, but no one ever discusses it. However, we “gender” on a daily basis looking at how people should or should not behave based on their sex, male or female as we determine what ‘sex’ a person is based on how they dress or colors they wear. According to Adams, Blumenfeld, Castaneda, Hackman, Peters, and Zuniga, a sex category becomes a gender status though naming, dress, and the use of other gender markets. Once a child’s gender is evident, others treat those in one gender differently than the other gender and children respond to the different treatment by feeling and behaving differently (Adams et al. 2013). In this blog, I identify specific messages about gender presented in the mass media as well as the information I received about gender from my family. I also analyze how these messages influenced my experience with gender.

Media Messages about Gender
According to Zevallos (2014), gender is a concept that describes how societies determine and manage sex cate-gories. The cultural meanings attached to men and women’s roles; and how individuals understand their iden-tities including, but not limited to, being a man, woman, transgender, intersex, queer and other gender positions. Mainstream media ranges from newspapers, magazines, music videos, books, and CD’s and plays a significant role in creating social norms. These outlets impact the public’s opinion of the different genders and how they should or should not behave. Specific messages about gender in the mass media are boys wear blue and play with cars and trucks, while girls wear pink and play with easy bake ovens and dolls. Big breast defines women as big muscles define men. If a man isn’t violent, then he is considered weak or worthless. Women need to remain silent or are considered a loud mouth. Women are stay at home moms and childcare providers, while men work and are the breadwinners. Lastly, women are sex objects and men are studs.

Up until my early forties, I thought I wanted to be a stay at home mom, like my mom, until I discovered my life purpose. Subconsciously, I wanted to be like my father as he was out of the house, made good money and called the shots. Some messages about gender I received from my family were men worked and paid all the bills. But my father told me I could do whatever a man could. Girls wore dresses and boys wore pants. One message that stuck out like a sore thumb was women had big breast, and I didn’t have any as I was a slow developer, so I related to the boys. My mom told me girls played with dolls, as it was a girl’s job to cook and clean. Boys were supposed to take out the garbage, protect me and do “dirty” work. Boys were not supposed to cry, but it was okay for girls to cry. Lastly, girls had vaginas and boy had penises, but how do you identify a hermaphrodite?

Analysis of How Gender Messages Influenced Me
I never felt girly as I lacked big breast. I became a tomboy early on and never identified with the “girly” gender roles. However, when it came to boys, I didn’t follow suit with them telling me how a girl should behave. I had no problem getting “dirty,” as working hard and playing sports came easily to me. Working and making money was never a task for me.

Throughout my life and within relationships, I always nurtured my man, cooked and cleaned while he and I both worked. That concept of cooking and cleaning was a woman’s job ended about three years into my marriage. My husband, son and I are all domesticated as we all lift weights. We all cry and get “dirty” as I will help my husband change his breaks or perform an oil change. I raise my son without gender roles as he wears pink if he chooses. He knows crying is a sign of life and not a girl’s thing. 

In conclusion, the majority of the people remain conditioned to gender roles and sexism as programming starts at birth. Mainstream media accomplished its mission, and that was to divide and conquer. I have always questioned the status quo and chose to live outside of the norm. Early on, I was undoubtedly influenced, however today, I remain mindful of my own conditions to gender biases. We are one and women and men should be allowed to be and behave as they choose without judgments and stereotypes.


Thank you for reading and if you like it, please share with your friends. 

CoachKelley
Award Winning, International Author and Speaker
Personal Development & Wellness Coach

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Thank you for stopping by as always my goal is to inspire and transform your life. When you think of a chameleon, you think of something that blends in or changes its color to protect itself, to hide or be invisible. Right? Okay. Well, most of us behave as chameleons today and especially as it relates to our emotions. The letter below is from my heart to yours. 

I am writing this letter to express my most profound admiration, gratitude, and respect for you. You are the most courageous group of people I have ever met, and I am so lucky to have the opportunity to get to know you, sit with you and experience your journeys.  I think a lot of the work we do together, and I keep coming back to a word called “resistance” or “avoidance.” I know, you are probably wondering what exactly do I mean, well, what I mean is, when most people tell their stories in everyday dialogue, we frequently put glitter on them. We say, “I had an ectopic pregnancy, and it was awful, but now I have two wonderful daughters.” We say, “I lost my apartment, and it was devastating, but my apartment today is so much bigger and better.” We say, “I was in an abusive relationship, but it’s over, and I learned so much from it.”

We usually don’t talk about the raw stuff in the middle. We don’t say, “After my ectopic pregnancy, I spent hours crying and blaming myself.” And wondering what I could have done differently. In fact, that is what I did after my ectopic pregnancy, I wanted my child, and that experience hurt me for years as directly after it, I could no longer bear children the natural way. We don’t say, “When I lost my apartment, I felt worthless, embarrassed, was depressed and didn’t want anyone to know.” We don’t say, “I didn’t leave him because I was scared to be alone, felt like I would never have anyone else, so instead I ignored all the abuse and pretended as if it wasn’t that bad.”

Why don’t we tell these stories?

Well, for one, we’re worried about what others might think of us. In my books, Perfectly Planned and Overcoming Toxic Relationships, I was very transparent and vulnerable as I wanted to inspire others to remove the shame and embarrassment of experiencing pain. Pain is life. I shared my depression, my low self-worth and didn’t care about what people thought. I know sometimes people become uncomfortable when hearing of others suffering, but, mainly because it shifts them to their painful experience that they would instead leave buried.

We also think these versions of our stories make us sound weak. We believe that if we admit our tough emotional times, others will not see us as the beautiful beings we are. We fear being perceived as weak, dramatic and “in our feelings,” instead of being active and capable of conquering and releasing those things that no longer serve us a purpose. In reality, everybody goes through rough times and everyone deals with them differently. It is okay to share the middle of your story where you felt your lowest. It is those moments that people can relate to and inspires others to know that they can move through. You don’t have to pretend your life is perfect. No one has a perfect life.

So, to you my clients, when I meet you, or you show up in my email, inbox, or voicemail, you are welcome to give me your truth. You do not have to wear a mask with me. In fact, I expect you to come unmasked and ready to release. I understand it’s hard and some days you want just to cry your eyeballs out, I know. I have done exactly that before. Some days you come in, and you look like you want to lie down flat on the floor, and sometimes you hold your tears in and pretend to have it together. You don’t have to with me. All I want you to do is explore all of your emotions, release those that no longer serve you a purpose and grow from the experience. Help me help you find your true self. 

If you need personal development coaching, please feel free to reach out to me and let’s discover your authentic self.

Thank you for reading as I look forward to reading your comments below. Please share with your friends. 

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Thank you for stopping by as always my goal is to inspire and transform your life. What type of relationship do you have with your body as that is the definition of health? Is the relationship with your body toxic or nurturing? Does it involve unhealthy foods, a sedentary lifestyle, or pushing yourself to the brink of breakdown? If it’s the latter, I can relate as that was me. My entire being was very toxic as in the past, I ate lots of meat, fried foods, processed foods, smoked cigarettes and drank alcohol among other unhealthy behaviors.

Eventually, I developed early stage heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and hypothyroidism and was forty-six pounds overweight. Last year, I rediscovered I lived with intestinal worms and an overgrowth of candida yeast for over thirty-eight years, as I learned all of my elimination channels were blocked and toxic. There was so much waste in my body that my body attempted to remove it via my skin. Seventy percent of my body is now darker than the other thirty, however, I consider myself the two-toned beauty.  While healing my body, I discovered many ways to create optimal health, but I shared six of them here. You can find the full story in my latest book, Detox or DIEt and purchase it on Amazon.

1. Drink Plenty of Water: In fact, drink water; half of your weight in ounces. Your gut is no different than a toilet stool and needs flushing with plenty of water. Have you ever wondered why the toilet has so much water in it? Seriously. 

2. Perform Weekly Enemas or Hydrotherapy Twice a Month: Your gut is your large intestine, and the small intestine dumps waste there. Enemas and hydrotherapy (water therapy) assists in removing stored waste from your colon. If you are 38, you have 38 years of stored waste. Imagine that. 

3. Exercise
: Exercise such as cardio increases peristalsis or intestinal muscle movement that in turns removes waste from the colon. Sweating also eliminates toxins from the body. Two hundred minutes of weekly cardio equals weight loss.

4. Eradicate Intestinal Worms: If you have ever eaten dairy products, meat, fish, sushi, drank water in America or have any symptoms of dis-ease, you have intestinal worms. Purchase wormwood or black walnut. Many doctors believe that intestinal worms are the source of all disease.

5. Balance the Yeast: Stop eating white sugar, sugary drinks, sweets, flours (bread) that rise, or any other high carb or starchy foods. Take a 50 billion probiotic. If you have ever experienced ringworm as a child, any skin condition, have belly fat or dark circles under the eyes, allergies or sinus pressure, you have an overgrowth of candida yeast. 

6. Plant-Based Organic Diet: If it doesn’t come from the ground, don’t eat it. I know that may be hard, but take one day at a time and after three weeks of no meat, not only will you starve the parasites; you will lose the desire to eat meat.



Coach Kelley 
Transforming Lives Worldwide

Thank you for reading as I look forward to reading your comments.

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Thank you for stopping by as always my goal is to empower and transform your life. So many people see the glory, but the story of healing was an excruciating and depressing one. From September 2016 and until August 2017, I cried a lot, was angry, suicidal, and felt hopeless. My healing crisis disrupted my marriage as I blamed, was in denial, restless and filled with shame and embarrassment. Almost a year, I smiled as I felt like I died on the inside. Thinking about this past year makes me cry. No sympathy needed, but the pain and sadness were real. So many days, I leaned on my husband and son for their courage just to put on clothes and go outside. I was afraid to be seen, as I feared judgment, people criticizing and frowning at me. I wanted to hide from the world. I felt ugly and disgusting. The two men in my house loved and kept me. It was their love for me that kept me going as I couldn’t see beyond my disgusting skin or bald, inflamed head. Their hugs, kisses, talks, encouraging words and overall love saved me. Many days I wanted to die, but I survived.  

I looked in the mirror at my skin and my head and felt utter disgust and wondered how Patrick still loved me. I was disgusting to me. My skin was severely damaged by the toxins released by intestinal worms and candida yeast.  It was gray, dark black, red and purple with raised rashes. I practiced daily telling myself I was beautiful in the mirror until I believed it. Day in and day out, I said something positive to me. I needed to convince me that I was not my skin. I needed to feel beautiful in the midst of feeling ugly. I needed to love myself in the middle of not accepting me and my experience. Every day was hard for me. Every day was a task to get out of bed and not only because of the pain, but because of the sadness, I felt. I wanted to give up. I needed to love and accept myself and find gratitude in the midst of burning from the inside and feeling disgusting.  If was wasn’t able to embrace the skin I’m in now, I never would. The pain and misery of the overall experience were the most challenging in my life thus far. 
 
How could I be a Life Coach? How would people perceive me? What would my followers think of me? Here I am a Life Coach and suffering from intestinal worms and an overgrowth of yeast. But, the truth of the matter is, intestinal worms and candida yeast hijacked my body when I was eight years old. So it didn’t matter that I was a coach, what mattered was, how was I going to heal and how would my experience impact the world. How could I take this experience and turn it into something positive and beautiful? Did I have the courage to share my skin with everyone to help me and others? I did. In April 2017, I shared a video of my body, and the responses were loving, hopeful, thankful, and everything unexpected. I needed all that love from around the world. The support was fantastic and most people didn’t know that I suffered and it was the kind words from all around the world, that helped me to heal emotionally. I needed all the encouraging words I could get at that time. You all came through for me. Yes, my husband and son supported and loved me, but the love and support I received from all around the world amazed me. Many days I wanted to die, but you all saved me. Many days, I wanted to give up, but every day I read FB messages that encouraged me to keep going. Many days I wanted to stay in bed, but the post on my FB page made me smile. You all saved me, and I thank you for supporting and loving a complete stranger when I so desperately needed encouragement and love. 

I learned to see beauty as something more than my hair, skin, full lips or thick hips; I learned to see beauty in pure ugliness. You all have given me something I never thought I would find during my experience. The experience of my peeling and burning skin while my hair fell out and as I wore wigs to hide the scars in my head. You all gave me a sense of peace in the midst of my storm. You didn’t even know me, but you shared your love and encouraging words with me. I am so grateful for you all. From Africa to Australia, to North and South America, as well as Asia and Europe; your kind words kept me going every day. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

The Universe created some divine and beautiful people across the globe, and I had the pleasure of experiencing Global Love. In my experience, I learned to profoundly love and accept myself and not care about what people think or expect from me. I crawled and had to drag myself from emptiness and find the beauty beneath my skin. I did that.  I am NOT my skin, nor am I my hair. My beauty runs more profound than you, and I can see. We are not our skin or our hair as we are spirits experiencing the human experience.  I pray my story brings healing, love & light to you.

Thank you for reading as I look forward to reading your comments For the full story, please purchase Detox or DIEt. It’s available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and here

If you are unfamiliar with my story, watch the two videos below.

First Skin Video
Latest Skin Video

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Thank you for stopping by as always, my goal is to transform your life. There is no need to seek external empowerment as it all starts with you. You have the power via your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors to change anything about you. Listed below are 15 ways I use to empower people who desire a more enriched life. Incorporate these into your life and let me know if you feel differently and good about self.


Confidence
: Belief or trust in self, someone or something

Write Down 10 Positive & 10 Negative Things About Self: The goal in this is to examine what it is about you that you would like to change. You cannot release what you refuse to face. Of course, the positive things will make you feel great about self, but identifying the negative will help you feel even better as now you can focus on improving self.  


Set Small Goals & Meet Them: 
Goals such as cleaning your closet out, reorganizing your bedroom, or reading a book; small or short-term goals that you know you can reach. Don’t create hard goals until you’re able to accomplish more modest objectives, as if you do not achieve those harder or bigger goals, you will feel bad. 


Groom Self/ Dress Nicely: 
When you look good, you feel good. Take care of self; don’t go outside looking shabby with uncombed hair. Your appearance is everything, and when you don’t provide self-care, you’re doing self a disservice. Make an effort to look good before leaving your house; have dress up days and take pics. All of this will boost your confidence.


Take Selfies
: Take lots of selfies and enjoy the view. No, this is not arrogance or vanity. If you can’t enjoy self, who will? Trust that the reflection is perfectly imperfect and don’t allow anyone to tell you differently. Look at you and appreciate your beauty, flaws and all. 


Think Positive Thoughts: 
Positive thoughts create positive energy. As thoughts become things, be intentional about your thoughts and emotions. If you want abundance and success, think it, believe it, and you will receive it. We are creators, and if you look at your life, it is your thoughts that got you there. What do you want in your life? — Whatever that might be, only focus on what you want. Don’t give any energy to that which you do not desire. 


Remove Negative Thoughts: 
We get about 60, to 70,000 thoughts a day and 95% of them are negative. Don’t ignore the thought; counteract it with a positive thought. If your mind tells you, “I am fat or ugly,” You simply say, “I am beautiful, and my body is sexy.” When you allow negative thoughts to dominate your mind, that energy becomes an emotion (E-energy in motion), and you then create a negative atmosphere that will present a negative thing. Change your thoughts; change your life. Tell the thought to “GO SIT DOWN.” Also, if someone says something negative about you, don’t internalize it, don’t own it; don’t digest someones “thoughts” or opinions of you. It is theirs, not yours. 


Speak and Behave Positively: 
When you speak and behave negatively, you are putting negative energy in the Universe. That negative energy is going to come right back to you. Go out and do a random act of kindness, compliment people, speak only good things as good will come back to you. When you make others feel good, you feel good in return, and you learn to believe in you. 


Sit with Self: 
Learn to appreciate being alone and stop feeling like you need to be around people or the external world. Date self, like go on shopping dates, go see a movie or skating; get to know self by sitting with self. If you can’t appreciate yourself, who will? Listen to those thoughts and determine if any speak the truth, and if they do, journal it. See what you can do to enhance self as the external world cannot do that. Get to know you.


Think and Speak Slowly
: Have you ever tripped over your own words? I have. Think about what you want to say and say it slowly. That way you develop communication skills and trust me, people are grateful for those who communicate effectively. No reason to hurry; speak clear and slowly and you will be surprised at the responses. People respond positively to that which they understand. What this means is, you will have listeners and what better way to trust and make self good. 


Never Compare Self to Others:
 Comparing self to others is a definite blow to your confidence as well as your esteem. Compare self to self as you are the standard for you. Stop seeking external approval. Comparing self to others mean you do not value or trust self. The way to compare is to have “Internal Competition;” be better than you were yesterday as there should be no one in your mind who you feel is better than you. You are the most important person in your life. Compare self to yesterday’s self. 


Focus on Solutions, not Problems: 
When there are problems, the only thing to do is find a solution. Problems, challenges or obstacles are here to serve and build us. However, when you focus on the “problem” you give too much energy to it and attract more negative energy to self, and this makes you feel horrible and not trust self. Focus on the solution. If you have a problem with a friend or anyone, be the first to ask, “How can we solve this?” Thereafter begin to offer solutions and work through them. This type of energy will certainly enhance your confidence and make you feel like gold. (Problem Solver)


Exercise
: Exercising at least 30 minutes a day releases a hormone called “Endorphins” or the “Feel Good” Hormone. Get out and walk or jog as not only will you feel good, but you can definitely lose weight. Exercising is a great way to increase confidence and esteem. When you look good, you feel good. Challenge yourself; walk or jog for 30 minutes on one day and the following week, go for 45 minutes. This is a great was to build self-confidence. You CAN do it. 


Learn Something New Daily: 
Read a book, or do some research on something you’ve always wanted to learn about. When you increase your knowledge, you increase your confidence as being smart is always a confidence booster. Once a week, seek knowledge and enhance upon you. The more research you do, the better you feel about your abilities to find new information and learn it. 


Remove Perfection from Your Life: 
We are perfect in our right as humans; however there is no such thing as perfection. Don’t focus on scoring perfect scores or having the best body or wearing a size two. That does not insinuate perfection. Don’t spend too much time on trying to make anything perfect in your life as it will not happen. Perfection is for those who lack confidence and it will not build your confidence as it does not exist. If you have a pimple, embrace it; if you have a flat butt, embrace it; embrace you; flaws and all. Love self as you are beautiful and smart just the way you are.


Do your Best & Feel Good Regardless of the Outcome: 
As long as you do your best, that is all that matters. Results are for those who are fixated on perfection. Focus on getting it done with your best foot forward. As long as you know you did your best, nothing else matters. Always trust that what you have done was the best you could do. 


Thank you for reading as I look forward to reading your comments. If you require more assistance in boosting your confidence please click here and in the subject line, enter “CONFIDENCE.”

 

CoachKelley
Transforming Lives Worldwide
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Twitter: CoachKelleyP

 

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Thank you for stopping by as always, my goal is to empower and transform your life. Have you ever been mistreated by a man or a woman and you accepted it for too long? That is a topic that needs addressing so I will share some of my experiences and maybe you can dig deep within, find yourself and understand that you deserve love and more so, you deserve that which you are so that you can see who you are. When one has been abused all of his/her life, he or she becomes accustomed to abuse and therefore connects it with love. Some of us are not sure of what defines love. Most of us are not taught what love is or isn’t. The critical thing to take note of is that love is not abuse. 

I experienced all forms of abuse as a child, and teenager so it was easy for me to accept abuse as an adult. In one of my intimate relationships, I suffered mental and verbal abuse, was always put on the back-burner and disrespected. However, this man told me he loved me, and since I was born into those conditions, I accepted the ill-treatment. The behaviors you attract and accept are at the subconscious level of your mindset as no-one wants to experience abuse. I hear many people say “He or she needs a slap or two to believe it’s love,” that is sad to say, but it does hold some truth. It’s not that women or men like the slaps or shoves; it’s just they are conditioned to accept those behaviors. People who have experienced abuse and have not received coaching or therapy does not understand love. I was guilty of this, but with personal development, I recognize that I connected abuse with love. I didn’t understand love without being disrespected, cheated on, verbally abused and etc… I realize the difference today because, after my husband, I know love exists, and abuse has no place in my life today or ever.

Those who we accept into our lives are a reflection of who we are. If we harbor ill feelings about ourselves, we may pick partners or significant others that reflect this image back to us. If we are willing to tolerate adverse treatment from others, it is possible that we also operate similarly. If you are an abuser or a recipient, you may want to consider how you treat yourself. What sorts of things do you say to yourself? Do thoughts such as “I’m stupid” or “I never do anything right” dominate your thinking? Learning to love and care for yourself increases self-esteem and makes it easier to embrace healthy relationships and deny unhealthy relationships.

Some signs of equating abuse with love or NOT-understanding love
• You accept abuse, emotional, verbal, physical
• Expecting specific behaviors, i.e., Name calling, hitting, aggression, constant chaos
• You provoke your partner intentionally looking for a negative response
• You feel a need to argue
• You are incapable of living in peace with your mate
• You replace harmony with arguments
• You say he/she loves you even after they hit you
• You push him/her away

Signs of a Healthy Relationship
• Maintain and respect each other’s individuality
• Maintain relationships with friends and family
• Have activities apart from one another
• Able to express yourselves to one another without fear of consequences
• Trust each other and be honest with each other
• Have the option of privacy
• Resolve conflict fairly 

Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
• Feel pressure to change who you are for the other person
• Feel worried when you disagree with the other person
• Feel pressure to quit activities you usually/used to enjoy
• Pressure the other person into agreeing with you or changing to suit you better
• Arguments are not settled fairly
• Attempt to control or manipulate each other
• Have no common friends, or have a lack of respect for each others’ friends and family

In essence, love begins and ends with you, so if you don’t love yourself, it will be difficult to attract love. Remember, you are what you attract as what’s in your soul is in those souls of the people in your space. Thank you for reading as I look forward to reading your comments. Please share with your friends and family and help me heal the masses. We need it.  

#CoachKelley
Transforming Lives Worldwide
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Thank you for stopping by as always my goal is to empower and transform your life.

Have you ever truly seen your man, I mean naked, emotionally naked? 

Have you ever seen beyond his physical being and looked into his soul? 

Has he given you the opportunity to see his fears, insecurities, pain, or the self behind the ego?

Have you ever seen the depths of your man as he reaches the depths of your body?

His pain, fears, anger, jealousy, and insecurities is really the beauty beneath his physical body. 

The beauty that calls for him to trust you and share his deepest secrets. As he cries and lays his head upon your breast and wishes for you to nurture him as he longed for it for many years from his mother. His strong arms hold you gently and tightly as he just wants to feel your warmth and security. The security that was stolen from him as a little boy and now he’s a man with the same fears and insecurities. You rub his head and assure his safety, the safety of his heart that was once discarded. He is beautiful and strong as he cries and reconnects with his little boy’s pain. He is beautiful as he withdraws and emotionally clams out of fear you might not understand. 


He is a man. A man in touch with his feminine energy and not afraid to be judged or accused of being a bitch. 

He is a man. A wounded man, who never healed from the wounded boy. 

He is a man. A man who trusts you, his woman, to understand, have compassion and love him for who he is. 

He is a man. A man who once lived in fear and until he felt your love, he can now live.

He wants to heal, but he needs to know he can count on you to support him and not judge him. He opens up and shows you the beauty of a wounded man. The pain deep down in his soul that has prevented him from loving and trusting you the way you deserve. He’s a wounded man, but he’s a loving man. 

He loves you, but his pain is deeper than you can imagine. Hold him, love him, empower him, cry with him, and never degrade him. 


He is a man, OUR man, the man who will protect and die for you. Cherish him, encourage him and let him be.

He’s wounded, but he’s beautiful as he allows you to see the true depths of his soul. He removes his Ego and allows you to see his true self. The pain he suffers, the fears he face, the insecurities he lives with and the jealousy that scares you. Have patience with him as he is a man, a wounded man, in need of real love and compassion.

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When you think about self-love, what exactly do you say? Do you think it’s about buying yourself a beautiful gift or taking yourself on a date? Do you think it’s about being selfish or self-preservation? Well, I happen to think it’s about all of the above. How often do you get the opportunity to nurture yourself? I love on myself daily and if not every day at least a few days a week. I didn’t always, but today it is imperative that I, you and we learn to love self more than we love others. 

Self-love is an essential element needed to have the life you desire. Self-love is not often taught to any family as we must learn to do so throughout life’s experiences. Most people never make it to this space. Some of us live our entire lives as people pleasers and doing everything for everybody else and nothing for self. In this blog, not only will I share ten ways you can love yourself, but I will also share how these acts are beneficial to you. You will become familiar with how self-love leads you to a happy life as well as why it is essential to love every fiber of your being. It all begins and ends with you.

Ten Ways to Love on Self
1. Exercise:
Most people exercise to release weight, and that is fine. However, working out has a lot more benefits than losing weight. One of the fascinating things about exercise is the “feel good” hormone. Walk for 30 minutes. If you love yourself, you will find a way and not an excuse.

2. Positive Affirmations: 
Speak positively to self. We all know the saying; life and death is in the tongue. So, why would you talk or think negatively of yourself? Here is a list of affirmations you can say to yourself every day. 

I deserve the very best in life.
I love and approve of myself.
I am healthy and beautiful.
I fill my mind with positive thoughts.

3. Massage Therapy:
Everyone needs to be touched; go out and have a professional massage. Don’t worry about your body’s appearance. Monthly massages make you feel good and are definitely a way to express self-love.

4. Pedicure/Manicure:
I believe we should all receive manicures and pedicures (men & women) and not for glamor purposes but self-care purpose. Pedi’s and Mani’s have nothing to do with your sexual gender, but everything to do with self-care. Your feet and hands need love too. 

5. Take a Nap:
Americans work, work, and work as we do not allow time for naps or sleep in general. You will be surprised how much better your days are when you find time for a nap. Naps regenerate the whole body and make you feel good.  
 
6. Self-Date:
Take yourself out on a date. Self-dates affords you the opportunity to become comfortable with self and not be so dependent on spending time with others. Spending time alone increases confidence, removes fear and helps you accept and love self. If you can’t spend time with self, then who will? 

7. Laughter:
When dealing with stressful days, watch some comedy or cartoons. Search online for silly jokes. Have lunch or dinner with your funniest friends. Laugh until your stomach hurts and watch the stress disappears. 

8. Detox Bath:
My favorite way to express self-love is by doing a detox bath. Detox baths are perfect for showing love to your inner self, and it is one of the easiest healing therapies to facilitate your body’s natural detoxification system. Try this.

1/3 cup of Epsom salts
1/2 cup coarse sea salts
Two tsp ground ginger
1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
Several drops of essential lavender oil

9. Eat Healthily:  
In the world where food is a science, and practically everything we eat is a GMO, we have to take a closer look at precisely what we are putting into our mouths. GMO’s link to numerous health problems as mentioned in my most recent book Detox or DIEt.  If you want to stay healthy, eat organic and clean foods. If it doesn’t say organic, chances are it is GMO. 

10. Meditation:  
Meditation is concerned with caring for the mind. Although our body and mind are intimately related and interconnected, they are quite different types of phenomena. The ultimate goal of meditation is more than just ‘mindfulness’ or ‘being in the now,’  it’s about connecting with the God/Goddess within you. 

Thank you for reading as I look forward to reading your comments. If you need more assistance, please click here. 

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Personal Power (Solar Plexus, 3rd) Chakra

We talk about being “in our emotions” quite often, but what if your feelings are directly related to your overall health. I define emotional freedom as liberating yourself from negative emotions via forgiveness. In this space, one can create the most significant experiences. However, if one doesn’t understand how the Personal Power chakra is directly related to emotional and physical health, overall disaster occurs. Some people call it the Solar Plexus as it directly relates to the Sun’s energy and is our own little fireplace.

Chakras

Chakras are energetic vortexes within the human spiritual body that attracts and emits energy. Chakras are the primary source of your life force, and their well-being is vital to your holistic health (Mental, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual). We have seven within us as they also govern the health of a specific organ. The Solar Plexus chakra controls the digestive system and its ability to digest nutrition. It is also our willpower and regulates our ability to achieve greatness and mentally understand our deepest emotions.  An inactivated Personal Power chakra results in some of the dis-eases I experienced and discussed in my most recent book, Detox or DIEt. The Solar Plexus chakra is located slightly above the navel and speaks to self-esteem, security and is the core of our personality and ego. The Solar Plexus chakra is about loving, nurturing, accepting self and understanding that inner voice that guides us. Self-acceptance and how we feel about ourselves determines what we will experience in life, relationships, business and so much more. A balanced Solar Plexus chakra presents itself in one who is confident, self-motivated and “on fire.” 




Emotional Freedom

Many people lack emotional freedom as most want to blame others for their emotions. No one wants to be responsible for their unhealthy feelings. You have to be responsible for your feelings as you have to learn to acknowledge, respect and release them. We must be willing to forgive self, others and learn from our pain. 

Closed Solar Plexus Chakra (Personal Power)
Never satisfied

Low self-esteem and confidence 

Unhappy/Depressed

Difficulty concentrating 

Inability to make decisions 


Physical Dis-Ease Associated with Closed Personal Power Chakra
Diabetes

Gallstones

Digestive, liver or pancreas disorder 

Clearing, Balancing and Energizing Your Personal Power Chakra.

Meditate

Eat yellow foods

Wear yellow clothes

Spend time in the sunlight 

Decorate a room with a shade of yellow

Bathe in yellow water 


In essence, your health is your wealth, and more importantly, your thought paradigm initiates the “thing,” your emotions amplify it, and your behaviors create it. Having read this blog and understanding the spiritual aspect of physical diseases, I encourage you to take better care of you. I experienced a long list of physical ailments that initiated in my mind as I had no idea years ago that to be physically healthy you have to be mentally and emotionally healthy. Thank you for reading as I look forward to reading your comments. If you need further assistance, please Click here

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