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Thank you for stopping by as always my goal is to inspire and transform your life using my life’s experiences, education and wisdom.

An emotionally bankrupt man is one who is emotionally disconnected from himself. What’s more, he has no idea how to emotionally connect with a woman or support her emotions. He is disconnected from his deepest self that which is his emotions or spirit. So, in essence, you are faced with his little self, or the one who can sex you all day and night, spend tons of money on you, walk out on you in the middle of your tears and become angered during any communication. At no fault of the man is he emotionally abusive or absent, and to his ignorance, he has no idea how his perception of what a man is, is extremely far away from the God in him.

His perception of what a man is is based on the societal construct and that is being muscular, hard, tough, unemotional, hard-working or paying bills, packing a gun, and a big dick. The latter will only land you in jail or in the hospital for overworking yourself. He associates being emotional with being a “bitch.” And so I guess we were all “bitches” at birth as we all cried. The sad part is that some women actually believe men who cry or express emotions are in fact bitch-like or too girly, due to their own ignorance or social coma. The man has been programmed to be “hard” robotic and emotionless and unfortunately, there are many women with the same characteristics. Needless to say, a bitch is a female dog, and the last time I checked we are human beings, not four-legged animals. Humans need to feel and be balanced.

A balanced man or woman is someone who feels, is intimate -that has nothing to do with sex- faces fears, knows how to communicate without anger, or becoming defensive like a victim. He also does not run from himself during an argument, yes from himself, as it is not you that he runs out on, but his inability to communicate effectively and healthily. His anger and imbalance scares him and for those who do not run; swing. A balanced man is one who is self-aware, emotionally intelligent, has integrity, wants to heal, creates harmony, open to intuition, and responsible for his thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. He does not blame and is not afraid to be vulnerable. Even if he does not have those characteristics he is OPEN to learning and growing through a balanced woman. He does not fear her, nor does he behave like a little boy with his mother. He receives and grows.

I am not saying that women possess these characteristics as #most do not, however, the man’s idea of what a man is, is so out of alignment with his soul that he will never heal or even listen to what the Universe has provided him with to help him heal. He is too busy chasing titties and ass, money and conquering women and running from himself. He believes when a woman attempts to redirect, help or teach him to a better path, she is controlling him. And for the sake of him never being wrong, his “cop out” will always be ‘you are trying to control me or run things.’ You see he has had enough of women and more importantly his mother, telling him what to do, or not being there emotionally for him as a child. So when he lashes out, he is really lashing out at his controlling and emotionally absent momma or some other authoritative female in his childhood. You are not the issue. He has become his absent mother, father or guardian.

His tough exterior or attitude, and inability to admit when he is wrong, hears what he wants to hear and not what is said, leads to constantly creating discord as he has been programmed to believe that nurturing and elevation is control. What’s more instead of admitting he is wrong he would rather argue. To be wrong is to be dumb or stupid as that is what the European educational system and workforce taught him and everybody else. The same system that taught him what it means to be a man.

What’s more, you are doing yourself and everyone that loves you a disservice. It is time to feel thereby heel. Women deserve all of you and not just the broken parts of you. You do not have to survive anymore. Permit yourself to live, to thrive, to feel, to be authentic without judgment.

By no means is this blog to offend or defend anyone; rather my expression of having dealt with and coached many emotionally detached men. At some point, men will have to break down in order to break through. Otherwise, women will only meet his little fearful self and not the courageous God within. As long as men remain emotionally disconnected from themselves, the risk of heart attacks, cancer and strokes are near. If you are not feeling, what are you expressing? Anger, and behind anger lies pain. An angry heart is a heart attack.

Love is THE healer gentlemen. Stop being afraid of it. Open up to receive and allow the woman that loves you, to help you. She is more than a night sweat. Lastly, no woman has to continue dealing with emotionally absent men. It is very unfair and selfish to ask. You have a choice; the same energy you put into making your money, partying, sexing, eating or whatever, is the same energy you need to use to heal your heart and create your authentic self. The one who feels, faces his fears, is vulnerable and intimate.

This describes a good portion of men. As it relates to connecting to feminine energy. ~Okera Hollis, Author

Your article is poignant and timely! It will take a man to first own his deficits and then If he chooses, let the healing begin! I know a lot of these type of brothers!! ~Khalid Scott, Social Worker Extraordinare

Good article; There will always be a difference between a male and a Man. Much of what you mentioned has to do with the common male experience. Many of our brothers are uninitiated into the Path of a Man, therefore, the sacred masculine can’t be revealed within them. ~Timothy Glenn, Awakened Magi

Thank you for reading and please share your thoughts below. If you desire help to heal, please complete the form below.

CoachKelley
Healing Enthusiast
Empowerment Speaker
Certified Spiritual Life and Health Coach
International and Award Winning Author



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Thank you for stopping by as always my goal is to inspire and transform your life using my life’s experiences, wisdom, and knowledge.

Are you a good woman or just a beautiful woman who confuses the two. I consider myself both, however, I wasn’t always, but I have learned over the years. Many women think to be a good lady, involves shopping, cooking, and cleaning,  well not many men will agree and neither do I. Reason being is because some men are domesticated as well and some are better at it than women. So allow me to share my Top 10 Characteristics of a Good Woman and if I leave any out, feel free to share. Not in any particular order.

Forgiving. It’s difficult to be a part of any relationship and not have a forgiving heart. To hold onto pain is to hold anger in your heart, so how can you love or be a good woman, with an unforgiving heart. A forgiving heart is necessary since we know men make mistakes. I’m not speaking of those who like to sleep around or men who abuse women. I’m talking about common mistakes in relationships like maybe he came home too late and didn’t call. Maybe he forgot it was your birthday or your anniversary as those are situations that warrant forgiveness. Also, if your man cheats, and you decide to stay with him, the ultimate goal is to forgive him, not punish him, otherwise, end the relationship, because you both will be miserable.

Listener /Knows when to be Quiet We all know women have got to have the last word as well as we always have something to say, well most of us. So here’s the thing, when your man is talking, be quiet and listen, don’t interrupt him, listen attentively and respond respectfully. Choose your arguments carefully and of course, speak when spoken too. When you know you are wrong, just hold your tongue and apologize. The one thing that will drive any man crazy is a woman’s mouth and the lashing of her tongue. Be gentle; your tongue is not heavy, so you should be capable of holding it.

Faithful. No need to elaborate too much on this one. But, no man wants a cheating or disloyal woman. When a woman cheats, more than likely he will leave. The thought of another man touching his woman, is a no, no. So ladies, if you feel the need to cheat, just leave, be single. Not to mention that’s a sign of not being ready for commitment.

Supportive. Men have dreams just as women do and they need support, maybe his dream is not yours, but a good woman would help him, whether he fails or not. It’s not all about him supporting you in the relationship; it’s give and take. He needs to know that when all else fails, you will be there to support him. I don’t mean support him as in, take care of him, but have his back, make sure he comes home to a supportive woman, who will help him wind down, from a hard day or simply tell him, “I got you baby.”

Patience. A patient woman is one who can wait for her man when he says “he will take care of it” Now, I’m not that great at this one, but hey I’m not perfect. At any rate, no man wants a woman who rushes him or is always in a hurry, or cant’ wait a few moments or day or two to get something done. Also, a patient woman understands nothing happens on her accord.

Motivator. Some men appreciate a woman who can motivate him towards success, not only that; some men need a push here and there to give them a kick-start in areas where they may not be as strong. Encourage your man to reach for the stars. Do not degrade him of project your fears onto him or refuse to support his dreams because you don’t see it for you.

Driven. I cannot speak for all men, but I know most men love a driven woman. She has a purpose in her life and will not allow anything or one to stop her. She is far from lazy, and her ambitious drive adds to her sexiness. Her man knows she will get things done.

Respectful. No man wants a rude woman, this relationship will end quickly. Learn to respect your man’s wishes, thoughts, dreams, and ambitions. If you disrespect the man you say you love, he will eventually disrespect you. Learn to humble yourself and diffuse situations that you may readily be tempted to lash out.

Confident/ Secure. A confident woman is a certain lady as she will not accuse her man of doing everything under the sun. Her self-worth leads her to a stable mind, and with that, she knows it would be his loss if he betrays her. She also does not need to question his every where-about since she has a life to lead herself. She is sure of her role as well as being an amazing woman. She will not cause unnecessary stress to herself or her relationship on pretenses and a wandering mind.

Sexually Inclined. Every man wants a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. She has no problem with taking her sexual relationship to great heights with her man. She will rock his world in every sexual way imaginable, leading to a nose wide open. She is not ashamed to express her sexual appetite and explore new sexual adventures. She is a sexual Goddess.

In essence, there are much more characteristics that defines an amazing woman. However, these are the ones I thought were important. A beautiful woman is easy to find, but a good woman is not all that easy. A pretty face and a thin waste will only attract a man who wants sex. But a woman who presents with the mentioned characteristics will attract a man who can appreciate her. If you want an amazing and great man, then you need to present your amazing and great self.

Thank you for reading and if you like to add more characteristic of a good woman, please do so below. If you desire assistance to create your best self, please complete the form below.

CoachKelley
Healing Enthusiast
Empowerment Speaker
Spiritual Life and Health & Wellness Coach
6-time Award Winning, International Author

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