Your address will show here +12 34 56 78
Coach, Education, Mental Health

I lived in, around, and beneath fear. My life was covered in fear. I had false expectations that appeared real to me. Why, because I refused to face and overcome my past obstacles and pain. I indulged in a non-reality vision of being happy and prosperous, yet I had no faith, plans, goals, or ideas. My fear of being the best, beautiful, intelligent, confident, secure, authentic, transparent, honest, loyal, happy and successful was all a dream to me because I was covered in fear and not faith. My biggest fear was amounting to nothing after thirty years of uncertainties, toxicity, and abuse. I didn’t want to face my fears because, to me, there was nothing in my reality.

How many of you feel the way I did or close to what I felt?

I conquered my fears of being seen an imperfect, flawed, and a work in progress in 2008. I shared my life of abuse in my book Perfectly Planned (Overcoming incest, rape, and sexual abuse). Since that day, I have received, love, support, and an abundance of lives changed.

Since Perfectly Planned, I have changed thousands of lives. Since Perfectly Planned, I have learned to love myself, and feel confident of who I could become. Perfectly Planned was the beginning of me Transforming Lives Worldwide. Over the last 11 years, I have increased my confidence, self-esteem, because vulnerable and transparent. In essence, I have discovered what my purpose in life was. Had I allowed my fears to stop me, I would not be a six-time award-winning author, international health, and wellness coach and speaker. On the other side of my worries and yours, is a great opportunity.

Since Perfectly Planned, I have a wonderful husband who loves me with every fiber of his being. Since Perfectly Planned, I have spoken for the educational and the prison system, law schools, Non-for-Profit and youth organizations, and so much more. Since Perfectly Planned, I have written five more books; ‘Perfectly Planned’ (Workbook and Guide to Releasing Pain Associated with Child Abuse,’ ‘Overcoming Toxic Relationships’ and ‘Mental Makeover.’ I also authored ‘It’s All About Life’ (Book of Poems) and ‘Detox or Diet’ (Closing the Gap Between Dis-Ease and Death). Since Perfectly Planned, I resigned from my staff position as a Medical Technologist (over 22 years in health care) and can now focus on my purpose in life. Since Perfectly Planned, I am no longer afraid to face any fears. Last year on my husband’s birthday, I rode ten rollercoasters that I feared since I was 19 years young. That was a whopping 27 years later. WOW.

Since Perfectly Planned, I received my Certification as a Life, Health & Wellness Coach and is less than a year away from my Masters in Social Work degree where I will then be able to accept insurance as a form of payment for clients. Yes! It gets better, I am a member of the National Society of Leadership and Success, the National Association of Social Workers, and the American Society of Clinical Pathologist and recently was invited to join the National Honors Society. How cool is that? Once I was able to face my pain and release some fears, I was able to initiate the path I walk today; purpose and greatness.

Fears are not real as they are a creation of your mind. Fear is a LIE, and you are the creator of your worries. Do yourself and me a favor; focus on your desires, not your fears. When we focus on concerns, believe it or not, your worries will become a real thing, and then you will say, see I told you. How about if you focus on your desires and bring them into fruition and then how would it feel to say, see I told you?

Fear only occurs as we disconnect from the divine source within. Fear is nothing but focusing on our limited thoughts and belief systems. It is time for you to learn how to shift your paradigm and create a new narrative.

Listed below are a few things I currently do to shift away from fears and onto my desires.

Breathe: Acknowledge that the fear exists and be mindful; shift to the present moment and breathe. Breathing brings you back to the present moment and away from your worries. Click here and watch the video on how to breathe correctly. The link will open to another page, just remember to come back and finish the blog. (-:

Practice Mindfulness: Most of our thoughts are harmful, and, unfortunately, we give them more energy. Instead, do this, counteract the ideas with a positive one. For instance, if you think you are going to fail an exam, think, I have passed it already. Also, if your thought is negative about you, try this. Say, I am not my thoughts, nor am I my emotions, I am a spiritual being experiencing the human experience.

Gratitude: Write down ten things you are grateful for as that will shift your perspective to a happy place. Gratitude opens us up to receive more to be thankful for. Think of those things that made or makes you happy and write them down. Once you do that, close your eyes and the first technique, breathe.

Perspective: Put things into perspective. Is your fear genuine? Your concern is based on how you see the particular situations that scare you. What is the worst that could happen? Analyze that; how bad is it or is the outcome horrible?

Yes!!! I am thankful you are reading this blog. Thank you!!!

Focus on your Desires: When you recognize you are in a fearful state, think of something you desire and focus all of your energy on that. In fact, repeat that thing on your head for at least 30 seconds and watch the shift occur.

In essence, your mind is on autopilot and has about 60-70,000 thoughts per day. Most are negative and that alone will provoke fear. If you are willing to try the list above, I can guarantee, you will learn to release your fears. If you need further assistance, please complete the form below. I would love to help you create the best version of yourself.

Thank you for reading and please do, share your thoughts in the comment section.


 Did you know there is a difference between Gender and Sex. You probably didn’t as most people don’t. Well, allow me to educate you. 

Most people believe gender is the same as sex and I was one of those people until recently.  Gender is naturally assumed as understood, but no one ever discusses it. However, we “gender” on a daily basis looking at how people should or should not behave based on their sex, male or female as we determine what ‘sex’ a person is based on how they dress or colors they wear. According to Adams, Blumenfeld, Castaneda, Hackman, Peters, and Zuniga, a sex category becomes a gender status though naming, dress, and the use of other gender markets. Once a child’s gender is evident, others treat those in one gender differently than the other gender and children respond to the different treatment by feeling and behaving differently (Adams et al. 2013). In this blog, I identify specific messages about gender presented in the mass media as well as the information I received about gender from my family. I also analyze how these messages influenced my experience with gender.

Media Messages about Gender
According to Zevallos (2014), gender is a concept that describes how societies determine and manage sex cate-gories. The cultural meanings attached to men and women’s roles; and how individuals understand their iden-tities including, but not limited to, being a man, woman, transgender, intersex, queer and other gender positions. Mainstream media ranges from newspapers, magazines, music videos, books, and CD’s and plays a significant role in creating social norms. These outlets impact the public’s opinion of the different genders and how they should or should not behave. Specific messages about gender in the mass media are boys wear blue and play with cars and trucks, while girls wear pink and play with easy bake ovens and dolls. Big breast defines women as big muscles define men. If a man isn’t violent, then he is considered weak or worthless. Women need to remain silent or are considered a loud mouth. Women are stay at home moms and childcare providers, while men work and are the breadwinners. Lastly, women are sex objects and men are studs.

Up until my early forties, I thought I wanted to be a stay at home mom, like my mom, until I discovered my life purpose. Subconsciously, I wanted to be like my father as he was out of the house, made good money and called the shots. Some messages about gender I received from my family were men worked and paid all the bills. But my father told me I could do whatever a man could. Girls wore dresses and boys wore pants. One message that stuck out like a sore thumb was women had big breast, and I didn’t have any as I was a slow developer, so I related to the boys. My mom told me girls played with dolls, as it was a girl’s job to cook and clean. Boys were supposed to take out the garbage, protect me and do “dirty” work. Boys were not supposed to cry, but it was okay for girls to cry. Lastly, girls had vaginas and boy had penises, but how do you identify a hermaphrodite?

Analysis of How Gender Messages Influenced Me
I never felt girly as I lacked big breast. I became a tomboy early on and never identified with the “girly” gender roles. However, when it came to boys, I didn’t follow suit with them telling me how a girl should behave. I had no problem getting “dirty,” as working hard and playing sports came easily to me. Working and making money was never a task for me.

Throughout my life and within relationships, I always nurtured my man, cooked and cleaned while he and I both worked. That concept of cooking and cleaning was a woman’s job ended about three years into my marriage. My husband, son and I are all domesticated as we all lift weights. We all cry and get “dirty” as I will help my husband change his breaks or perform an oil change. I raise my son without gender roles as he wears pink if he chooses. He knows crying is a sign of life and not a girl’s thing. 

In conclusion, the majority of the people remain conditioned to gender roles and sexism as programming starts at birth. Mainstream media accomplished its mission, and that was to divide and conquer. I have always questioned the status quo and chose to live outside of the norm. Early on, I was undoubtedly influenced, however today, I remain mindful of my own conditions to gender biases. We are one and women and men should be allowed to be and behave as they choose without judgments and stereotypes.

Thank you for reading and if you like it, please share with your friends. 

Award Winning, International Author and Speaker
Personal Development & Wellness Coach