Emotional Health, Men, Mental Health, Relationships
Emotionally Bankrupt Men
You didn’t see this coming, did you?
Thank you for stopping by as always my goal is to inspire and transform your life using my life’s experiences, education and wisdom.
An emotionally bankrupt man is one who is emotionally disconnected from himself. What’s more, he has no idea how to emotionally connect with a woman or support her emotions. He is disconnected from his deepest self that which is his emotions or spirit. So, in essence, you are faced with his little self, or the one who can sex you all day and night, spend tons of money on you, walk out on you in the middle of your tears and become angered during any communication. At no fault of the man is he emotionally abusive or absent, and to his ignorance, he has no idea how his perception of what a man is, is extremely far away from the God in him.
His perception of what a man is is based on the societal construct and that is being muscular, hard, tough, unemotional, hard-working or paying bills, packing a gun, and a big dick. The latter will only land you in jail or in the hospital for overworking yourself. He associates being emotional with being a “bitch.” And so I guess we were all “bitches” at birth as we all cried. The sad part is that some women actually believe men who cry or express emotions are in fact bitch-like or too girly, due to their own ignorance or social coma. The man has been programmed to be “hard” robotic and emotionless and unfortunately, there are many women with the same characteristics. Needless to say, a bitch is a female dog, and the last time I checked we are human beings, not four-legged animals. Humans need to feel and be balanced.
A balanced man or woman is someone who feels, is intimate -that has nothing to do with sex- faces fears, knows how to communicate without anger, or becoming defensive like a victim. He also does not run from himself during an argument, yes from himself, as it is not you that he runs out on, but his inability to communicate effectively and healthily. His anger and imbalance scares him and for those who do not run; swing. A balanced man is one who is self-aware, emotionally intelligent, has integrity, wants to heal, creates harmony, open to intuition, and responsible for his thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. He does not blame and is not afraid to be vulnerable. Even if he does not have those characteristics he is OPEN to learning and growing through a balanced woman. He does not fear her, nor does he behave like a little boy with his mother. He receives and grows.
I am not saying that women possess these characteristics as #most do not, however, the man’s idea of what a man is, is so out of alignment with his soul that he will never heal or even listen to what the Universe has provided him with to help him heal. He is too busy chasing titties and ass, money and conquering women and running from himself. He believes when a woman attempts to redirect, help or teach him to a better path, she is controlling him. And for the sake of him never being wrong, his “cop out” will always be ‘you are trying to control me or run things.’ You see he has had enough of women and more importantly his mother, telling him what to do, or not being there emotionally for him as a child. So when he lashes out, he is really lashing out at his controlling and emotionally absent momma or some other authoritative female in his childhood. You are not the issue. He has become his absent mother, father or guardian.
His tough exterior or attitude, and inability to admit when he is wrong, hears what he wants to hear and not what is said, leads to constantly creating discord as he has been programmed to believe that nurturing and elevation is control. What’s more instead of admitting he is wrong he would rather argue. To be wrong is to be dumb or stupid as that is what the European educational system and workforce taught him and everybody else. The same system that taught him what it means to be a man.
What’s more, you are doing yourself and everyone that loves you a disservice. It is time to feel thereby heel. Women deserve all of you and not just the broken parts of you. You do not have to survive anymore. Permit yourself to live, to thrive, to feel, to be authentic without judgment.
By no means is this blog to offend or defend anyone; rather my expression of having dealt with and coached many emotionally detached men. At some point, men will have to break down in order to break through. Otherwise, women will only meet his little fearful self and not the courageous God within. As long as men remain emotionally disconnected from themselves, the risk of heart attacks, cancer and strokes are near. If you are not feeling, what are you expressing? Anger, and behind anger lies pain. An angry heart is a heart attack.
Love is THE healer gentlemen. Stop being afraid of it. Open up to receive and allow the woman that loves you, to help you. She is more than a night sweat. Lastly, no woman has to continue dealing with emotionally absent men. It is very unfair and selfish to ask. You have a choice; the same energy you put into making your money, partying, sexing, eating or whatever, is the same energy you need to use to heal your heart and create your authentic self. The one who feels, faces his fears, is vulnerable and intimate.
This describes a good portion of men. As it relates to connecting to feminine energy. ~Okera Hollis, Author
Your article is poignant and timely! It will take a man to first own his deficits and then If he chooses, let the healing begin! I know a lot of these type of brothers!! ~Khalid Scott, Social Worker
Good article; There will always be a difference between a male and a Man. Much of what you mentioned has to do with the common male experience. Many of our brothers are uninitiated into the Path of a Man, therefore, the sacred masculine can’t be revealed within them. ~Timothy Glenn, Awakened Magi
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Healing Enthusiast
Empowerment Speaker
Certified Spiritual Life and Health Coach
International and Award Winning Author
Author
A successful leader and expert on overcoming all forms of abuse, avoiding toxic relationships and the art of forgiveness, Kelley Porter is a Certified Life, Health and Wellness Coach, Award Winning Six-time Author, and Professional Speaker. As a speaker, Kelley’s transparent and authentic style of speaking will empower anyone to self-reflect, start the process of healing and correct thoughts and behaviors that may hinder them from living a healthy and non-toxic lifestyle. As a Coach, Kelley empowers you to reach emotional freedom, gain clarity and discover your infinite possibilities. She is well known for assisting in the removal of mental and emotional blocks that hinders people from reaching their fullest potential. Her areas of specialty are, but not limited to; abuse, healing, relationships, thoughts, emotions, and behaviors as she has written books on all topics. Kelley has over thirty years of direct experience with all forms of abuse, domestic violence relationships, creating purpose and power from painful experiences, and creating a positive mindset.
